RA#3 kimmel

In the essay, “Bros before Hos”: The Guy Code, the author Michael Kimmel defines society’s expectations of masculinity in males ages 16 to 26. He searched throughout our nation, as well as 15 other countries, to hear men’s responses to the phrase, “be a man”.   What he discovered, he call’s, “Real Guy’s Top Ten List”, which summarizes the top ten things guys say. For example; #1. “Boys don’t cry”, #2. “It’s better to be mad than sad”, #3. “Don’t get mad-get even”(609). The underlying message from all of the responses he received involves the condolence of showing emotion or admitting to weakness. To be accepted as a “real guy”, Kimmel argues, “The face you must show to the world insists that everything is going just find, that everything is under control, that there’s nothing to be concerned about”(609). These traits that make up “The Guy Code” act as a set of rules from which males live their lives according too.  This formulated structure of behavior most males in our society follow is the result of other men in their lives, telling them how to act. Male role models or mentors such as, fathers, coaches, brothers, uncles-strike great significance in teaching the younger generation of males the “right way” to behave. Kimmel suggests the reasons men follow this idea of masculinity is because they want to be positively evaluated by other men. By caring about other men’s approval, one can determine the right way to grow increasingly more liked on the social ladder.  If one breaks any of the “laws of masculinity” men will point out the weakness and the effect will be mostly verbal name calling. The names I hear people being called the most are gay and faggot.  These words are so commonly used in peoples everyday language that the actual definition of the words are rarely thought of. In an interview with Eminem, Eminem say’s, “The lowest degrading thing you can say to a man when you’re battling him is to call him a faggot and try to take away his manhood. Call him a sissy, call him a punk. “Faggot” to me doesn’t necessarily mean gay people. “Faggot” to me just means taking away your manhood”(612). In this context I believe it’s okay to call the person you are battling those names because the whole point of those things is to call people names. Gay stereotypes are are based on many different things, such as the way you dress, talk, walk to what your interests are. Kimmel say’s, “Everything that is perceived as gay goes into what we might call the Negative Playbook of Guyland. Avoid everything in it and you’ll be all right”(613). All right from what? Who cares what people call you or what they think about you. Everyone is different and not everyone gets along with each other. When you grow up you don’t have to associate with people how make fun of you for who you are. Kimmel does a good job in explaining the reasons males are masculine and sums the essay up nicely with a statistical reason that males are 6 times more likely to be diagnosed with ADD and ADHD.